Have you ever wondered why some goals feel exciting and attainable one day but impossible or even undesirable the next? Why do we sometimes self-sabotage, avoid opportunities, or remain in financial or personal equilibriums that don’t fully reflect what we think we want?
Lately, I’ve been playing with a concept I’m calling “By Association.” It’s a simple mental exercise that, in theory, helps reveal subconscious beliefs and emotional attachments that might be influencing our behaviors, often without us even realizing it.
This is not a fully fleshed-out psychological theory—just an idea I’ve been exploring. But if you’re like me and love playing with perspectives, this might be an interesting tool to help navigate your own internal landscape.
The Concept: What Does [X] Mean to You?
Let’s say there’s something you want: a certain income, a fitness goal, a level of success in your career or relationships.
Try this: Write down that goal and then create a word cloud around it. What thoughts, feelings, and images immediately come to mind? Are they mostly positive, neutral, or negative?
For example, if I think about my weight, I have a comfortable range of 165-185 lbs. When I consider the lower end of that range, my subconscious associations start appearing:
• 165 lbs = lighter, leaner, but also maybe “restricted” or “too skinny”
• 185 lbs = strong, full, but also maybe “too heavy” or “less disciplined”
Without realizing it, I’ve been navigating toward a weight that feels emotionally safe based on these associations. Not necessarily because it’s the most optimal weight for me, but because my subconscious assigns certain meanings to each number.
Now apply this to money. If I think about having $13,000 in my bank account consistently, it weirdly makes me uncomfortable. Why? What associations do I have with that number?
• Does that mean I’m “too responsible” and don’t enjoy my money?
• Does it make me feel like I’d have to maintain a certain level of effort to keep it there?
• Does having that amount push me into a new identity I’m not used to?
By mapping out our subconscious word clouds, we might realize that we are pushing away certain goals, not because we don’t want them, but because we’ve attached meanings to them that make them emotionally unsafe.
Bandwidth: Why Your Associations Might Change Over Time
Here’s where it gets even more interesting. Our associations aren’t static—they shift based on our emotional, chemical, and psychological state (our bandwidth).
Think about how different you feel when you’re:
• Well-rested vs. exhausted
• Motivated vs. discouraged
• Full of energy after the gym vs. drained after a stressful day
At any given moment, your current bandwidth is filtering how you perceive things. One day, the idea of being incredibly fit might feel exciting and empowering. Another day, that same goal might feel exhausting and unrealistic.
If you did the “By Association” exercise at different times of the day, week, or month, you might get completely different results. This could explain why we sometimes fluctuate in our motivation—why we pursue something intensely, only to avoid it later.
What if we aren’t self-sabotaging, but simply experiencing different emotional bandwidths that alter our subconscious associations?
What This Means for You
If you’ve ever felt like you’re hitting an invisible ceiling in some area of your life—finances, relationships, success—this could be an interesting tool to explore.
How to Try It:
1. Pick a goal. Something measurable—weight, money, a job, a relationship status.
2. Write down your associations. Do a quick word cloud of what comes to mind.
3. Repeat at different times. Try again in a week, in a different mood, after a workout, after a hard day.
4. Compare your responses. See how your subconscious associations shift based on your bandwidth.
5. Adjust accordingly. If you uncover negative or limiting beliefs, consider rewriting those associations intentionally.
If you’re one of the rare few who actually take the time to explore these things, I’d love to hear what you find. What are the subconscious associations holding you in your current equilibrium? And if you changed them, where could you actually go?
Cheers, and happy navigating! 💕✨
NOTE: This article was written with the help of my AI assistant, making it easier to capture and share ideas without getting stuck in perfectionism or tech overwhelm. If you’re equally as inspired but find yourself “stuck with the tech and marketing stuff” —reach out to ask me how a Digital Muse can help you find your own ‘Path of Least Resistance’ between your big-hearted observations + that mission you feel called to be part of 💕
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